I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
