Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
