I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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