Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
