so that wasnt chicken after all
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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