drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
