ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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