Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
