oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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