Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize