pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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