Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's rum buckets o'clock
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
