I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
