I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
