Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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