So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize