We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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