so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize