How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
