Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
