Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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