I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He shit in the fireplace
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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