I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
