Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
