So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
