its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
