cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
