i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
