Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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