even my farts smell like vagina
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize