If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
