Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
