went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
