she woke up with a sticky ear
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
