What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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