I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
