Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
handjob tips. give me some.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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