Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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