sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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