You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Randomize
