My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
