Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize