Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
