Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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