Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
