wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
