Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
