dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
