Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
