their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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