oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
