I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
