The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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