I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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