I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sobbing to NWA
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
