Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
