Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
