Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
