You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
