Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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