i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
