I got chris browned last night
Just fell off a train. Bad.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
